Sunday, July 11, 2010

Christian Divorce

Copyright By Merlene Bishop

Christian divorce is a subject that begs for clarity. Christian beliefs can be progressive, conventional or metaphysical, and biblical interpretation is based on their respective understanding. The result is that the acceptability of divorce varies according to that. If you are a conventional Christian you have a challenge in resolving the psychological issues after divorce.

The toughest one is the issue of guilt, since divorce is considered a sin by conventional Christians. This emotion can be a stumbling block for divorce recovery. If this is your situtation, I would suggest that you consider one of the major components of Christianity - forgiveness. Looking at it from that perspective,it is simple and easy to remember that the basic teachings of Jesus were love and forgiveness, and that God loves us unconditionally. Logically speaking then, divorce would not be a sin, and you can forgive yourself and your ex-spouse for the problems that led to divorce, and forgiveness is a vital part of divorce recovery.

This would also free you up from anger and blame towards your ex-spouse. Anger is one of the major stages of the grief process, and if your religious beliefs are reinforcing anger towards your ex-spouse, your task is to let go of that anger and of any guilt resulting from your Christian beliefs.

Consider that you are beloved by God, and hence your happiness is important. In light of this, you can give yourself persmission to forgive your ex-spouse and yourself. As humans, we all know that we are not perfect and on the subject of divorce, we know that both spouses had a part in it. Sometimes the biggest mistake was our choice of mates. Many people get married without being mature and fully in love.

Many people disregard or turn a blind eye to character traits of the other person when deciding to marry, which of course makes for a bad start.

The key to Christian divorce recovery is self-love and self forgiveness. When you ponder how much God loves you, you can move on without guilt, anger or remorse. This opens the door to a healthy divorce recovery and the possibility of a new and happier life.

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